Extra Dry Martini
by Politik
Summary: the've been drinking too much yet again!


Author's Note: Just a little thing I wrote last night at about 3, I was tired – just too tired to go to bed…or something. Who knows – I obviously don't but then that's not new – we all have a little of Henry in us. 

Well hope y'all enjoy…please don't be too critical tho as it was late when I wrote this and I really didn't know what I was writing…^_^ (what have I done!!!)

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'Extra dry martini, coming up; so dry you could taste the dirt of a midsummer's day in it' said Trapper as he poured the clear liquid, some what unsteadily, into the upside down glass Hawkeye was holding.

'Hey,' he exclaimed 'you're not supposed to hold the glass that way up, you should be holding it the right way up,'

'Haven't I got it the right way up?, its you who is doing the pouring the wrong way round, I mean who has ever heard of a martini flowing upwards rather than down…and hey be careful here your getting it all over my arm…' Hawkeye replied lazily as the liquid coursed down his arm…or up it if you were looking at it from his point of view.

The flow stopped, the contents were all over the floor, now making a puddle and seeping towards the entrance of the swamp, due to a queer unevenness of the ground that no one could say that they had noticed before.

Trapper was still pouring, though now he was admittedly not pouring anything but air onto Hawkeye's upturned glass; for which I guess Hawkeye would have been grateful if he had been sober…but as he wasn't, I really cant comment on his state of mind, whether he noticed the fact he was now being drenched by air and not booze was something which probably slipped his mind – he had more important things to think about – like why he wasn't drinking anything.

'Trap…'

'Yeah, that's what my name tag says when you look to quick'

'Huh…?' Hawk was baffled by that last remark; all this thinking was not good for his brain…so he shook it off.

'Umm…Trap…why haven't you poured my drink yet…there's nothing in my glass' he said, looking down in apparent amazement at the glass in his hand, when had it got there? And what was it doing staying in his hand- was it glued there…surely he wasn't holding it…it was just existing there…he smiled to himself, giggling, perhaps if he opened his hand…  
*CRASH*, oh well that hadn't worked he thought shutting his eyes, maybe he had been holding it after all.

Trapper suddenly came out of his state of semi- I would say drunkenness or sleep but it wasn't either yet it was both…in his state of drunkenness and sleep his mind had wandered off to a land far away where pigs really did fly across the sky and he too had been floating up there among the clouds…no literally he had…he had twirled and somersaulted…ok no he hadn't done that otherwise whatever was in his stomach wouldn't have been anymore.

…So the crashing glass woke him from his daydream state and looking at his hand he saw he was still pouring…not only nothing but now into nothing, he stopped and took stock of the situation by blinking ferociously, as quickly as he could…though this took him off on a little tangent because it became a competition with himself- how quickly could he blink in say a minute….

Finally he did come to his senses long enough to find another glass for Hawkeye and somehow he managed to fill it with the very dry martini he had promised earlier.

Whilst this was going on, and just before he handed the glass over; Hawkeye from his position on his bunk saw the door open and a voice call out sternly, well not that sternly…more an irritated high pitch squeak,

'What is going on in here, you…you…?'

and with out further ado Frank stepped into the swamp carefully placing his foot in the puddle mentioned earlier and a few seconds and a trip to the moon later he was lying flat on his back on the floor of the swamp, looking into the smiling face of Benjamin Franklin Pierce, who if he wasn't mistaken was...upside down?…damn his head hurt.

Hawkeye smiled, then grinned and burst out laughing. As he did so he felt a tap on the shoulder and looked back at Trapper who handed him his drink.

'Hey, it upside down you moron, how can this stay in…'

He started to take the glass up towards his lips, as he did so the contents of it flooded his face. He chocked and then spluttered. Then his eyes returning to Frank's befuddled and quadrupled face (don't worry Frank hadn't grown heads, its just Hawkeye's eyes seemed to not be working as well as they used to…even when he tried closing one of them and then the other…) and he said

'What's Ferret Face doing on the ceiling?'

He giggled which started Trapper giggling, Frank looked bemused (yes he had moved on from being befuddled), and the still ran away with the spoon…

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'ATTENTION, ATTENTION. ALL PERSONNEL REPORT FOR DUTY, INCOMING WOUNDED. AND IT LOOKS LIKE IT WILL BE NO TEA PARTY'

The PA system cut through Hawkeye's and Trapper's sleep. They blinked their eyes and looked about. They were met by the bright Korean sunlight streaming into their tent, and the sound of activity in the compound…and those oh so well known foot falls of a little guy who knew more than was good for him…

They groaned. ..that's right almost in unison.

'Go away Radar' Hawkeye said before Radar even had a chance to enter the swamp, and looked for his pillow which was nowhere to be found….

'Hey, where's my pillow?…ohhh.' He had sat up too quickly… at any speed it was too quick. He gently lowered himself back down and paused to look properly at his surrounding…

'Umm…when did I turn around? Whys my head where my feet should be, my feet are getting all the luxury –well I suppose finally I've had a chance to put the up', he commented as he saw his feet resting on his pillow.

And as they both crawled to their feet (with Radar's chiding it was very difficult to stay in bed) he added 

'Ahh…so that's why I was having those odd visions last night…I was upside down.'

'No Hawk, I think it was just the booze.' Was Trapper's reply as he grinned and then grimaced and held his head.

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Then they were gone, following the stream of casualties making there way to pre-op and to their operating tables. It's just as well they didn't want any tea, because the PA system never lied, the session was long, tiring, tedious and bloody. It certainly was no tea party and never was…but then there was always a new night and a new drinking session to be had so for the time being the surgeons did not worry to much, they just nursed the heads and nursed their patients while trying to nurse the nurses as well…but that's another night and another story!

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Hope u liked –

Sorry to those following my other story – I will update I promise *grovel grovel* :)


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